During a normal interaction between two people, as one is talking the other is already formulating their response as soon as the first person starts speaking, therefore not really listening to the rest of the conversation.

Experts in communication have instructed people to say the most important thing first so the other person hears it. It seems our society has developed methods of adapting to this flaw in us.

The reason most people want to speak so soon is because their mind is so hyper-active that it cannot wait to jump in and contribute. The end result is that most everyone who are trying to say something feel totally unheard. This leads to a disconnection in our human interactions and a discord in our relationships.

I have called this post Learn To Pause because that is the way to break this viscous cycle of non-communication. When we take the time to pause while another person is talking we become fully present with that person. This makes that person feel heard and does wonders for their self-esteem.

This pause for us gives us the time to fully process what the other is saying and we are then more fully prepared to formulate an appropriate response. A response that is not reactionary but rather one of question and wonder helping to deepen the conversation.

The way to develop the pause is to consciously take a very relaxed breath while listening to another. Meditation is another way of developing this pause naturally. Using the pause during your conversatons with others will improve your ability to communicate. When you develop the pause the effect you have on others will cause them to be better listeners as well.

You will have to be comfortable with some people judging you to be slow but the majority of others will consider you deep and insightful.

Enjoy the PAUSE